I haven't posted an update in a while because while we have had our ups and downs, not a lot has changed. Patrick is still what his doctor describes as an anomaly - performing life's tasks in a manner that defies his low heart numbers, and the overall awful shape it's in. Patrick and his doctors discussed first coming off the arrhythmia medicine that he was put on. He was on this one because the first, big medication he was hospitalized for and put on in December hadn't been as effective as we had hoped. But since the ablation in May Patrick had been doing better than ever. It took a few weeks but eventually talk began of taking him off the big med. This was a big step, and one that caused me a lot of anxiety. Patrick isn't one to sit by and let the doctors make all the decisions. He wants some of that control and let's his team know when he has an opinion. Sometimes I sarcastically call him Dr. Patrick to remind him he wasn't the one who went to school for a decade to learn about the heart. That's one thing we wives are definitely good for - keeping our spouse's feet on solid ground. He has been off the big med, Tikosyn, for several weeks now. While I can't say there have been no episodes of arrhythmia, I can say he hasn't had any bad enough that he had to be shocked by his defibrillator. Also, since our last update he has 1) swallowed a plastic fork tine, 2) developed and passed two kidney stones, 3) pulled a muscle in his back that needed OMM care to heal, 4) developed an ulcer, and 5) endured a vertigo episode so bad that we both thought he was dying (they suspect a mini-stroke but without the ability to do an MRI because of his pacemaker, the doctors are giving us their best guess... ) I'm sure there is more. I just can't think of them right now. I often say, with Patrick, if it's not one thing, it's another. Also, Patrick is not on the transplant list. We thought they were putting him on it but one doctor has told us that is not a decision to rush into. Patrick may need it soon, but for now he is doing so well on his anomalous heart that pushing for a transplant isn't reasonable. We would still like to see him on the list at a low priority, but for now we will take what we can get. There is talk about putting him back on Tikosyn because the ablation didn't fix every problem. We'll see what happens over the next few months. I think most Christian's are familiar with the adage that God takes broken things and makes them Beautiful. Also, everything God does, he does, he does for the greater good. All things happen for a reason. Patrick is broken, but God is not done with him yet. Too much good flows from his hands. Too much laughter is caused by his words. Too much love radiates from his ramshackle heart. God is not done with Patrick, and Patrick is not done with life. His doctor said there are people with higher ejection fractions than Patrick's, who can't get out of bed. Patrick refuses to live like he has heart failure. His body is healthy, even if his heart is beat up, bruised, with one leg and broken arms, propped up inside his chest with a crutch while smiling wearily at us. But he will not quit. There is too much life to live, and Patrick doesn't want to miss it. Like I said, God is not done with him yet.
Haley Holland
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