I like to think we're a normal family, but some days I feel like we're anything but normal. This really hit home today. Patrick told me a couple days ago that there's a chance the team of doctors in Seattle will decide his heart isn't well enough to do the ablation procedure so they will skip to getting him on the heart transplant list. I hadn't thought of that, and it's scary. Here are some of my other thoughts today: I met Patrick when he was 38. I am now 35. We have been together for 15 years. You do the math. Our oldest child has autism and has largely shaped what type of family we are - basically we can laugh at anything. What other options are there? We had three beautiful girls, and seven years later decided to try for (and got!!) our beautiful baby boy. Our kitchen is downstairs and our living room is upstairs. (I know that's not really about us but hey, even our house is quirky). Today I asked Patrick if he had anything sentimental he wanted to pass along to his kids if he dies. We aren't sitting on huge retirement accounts and he doesn't have life insurance, so we agreed on what could be sold and what could be held for all of his kids to inherit (Pew-pew) We also created a list on my phone of songs he wants played in a photo montage at his celebration of life. I refuse to play AC/DC. I told him if he dies I'm getting another dog and Blue and the new dog can have Patrick's side of the bed. His reply was, "Well, I'm not dying, then." He hates dog hair. Maybe someday I'll rant and yell that we shouldn't have to have thoughts like these; that we shouldn't have to discuss this stuff for another twenty or thirty years. But for now it's okay. It is what it is. We have had a really great 15 years, and if that's all I get, that's all I get. But that celebration of life is going to be epic.
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