Family Update

TIME FOR AN UPDATE! I've been told several of you are curious about how we are doing now, so today is a good day to give an update on the status of our family <3 We are all 100% recovered from Covid-19. I know our marriage will survive this social distancing, but some times... Some times, y'all... PATRICK: I'm going to the store and I'm not wearing a mask or anything. ME: YES YOU ARE. PATRICK: You're abusive. ME: You're clueless. PATRICK: I just like getting a rise out of you. Love you! dkjfgslkjflskdhflsjkadgfksahflkjsa;fljs;khfalskh... That man drives me nuts, but I do love him. Anyway, back to the update. Patrick and I were both sick for exactly fourteen days. The day he was released from quarantine was the day I began my final symptom-free 72 hours of quarantine. The VERY last symptom for both of us was a slight lingering congestion - more annoying than anything else. We spoke to the doctors and nurses who were in contact with us but everyone seemed to agree with without the body aches and fever and the other more harsh symptoms of Covid-19, the congestion wasn't a sign that we were still infected. Even now, a full 12 days since my first "cleared" day, I still find myself coughing once or twice a day because I feel something in my lungs. It's annoying but I'm confidant it will go away eventually. Patrick is complaining about the same thing and he is 15 days post-symptoms. I have been complaining to anyone who will listen that the kids are now under an additional quarantine, but I always follow my whining with an explanation for why they are under quarantine. None of our four kids were ever tested for the virus because at different times during our household's period of illness, the kids exhibited symptoms of the virus. Fevers, body aches, sore eyes, and congestion seemed to be how the virus manifested itself within their bodies, although to a much lesser extent than what it did with Patrick and I. The kids symptoms weren't as severe or as, "Am I going to die?" as they were for Patrick and I. But because they weren't officially tested so their symptoms weren't recorded as official symptoms of Covid-19, an additional quarantine was imposed on them from my first symptom free day, since without the test they were instead considered to be First Contacts of mine. I was the last person in the house with a documented positive test result of Covid-19, and since they were in my presence during my illness, the additional quarantine was set in place as a safeguard in case any of the kids began to exhibit symptoms of Covid-19 from their exposure to me. I have heard a coupe different things about their quarantine that confuse me, namely that it started on my first symptom-free day (the 28th) or that it started after my 72 hours of being symptom free (the 1st). I will verify that with a nurse today. It's not like we're in a rush to go on a family shopping trip, but it would be nice to be able to get in the truck and go for a drive. The kids and I have not left the house since March 19th, and that was so I could be tested in the drive-thru testing facility in Fairbanks. Besides that trip into town, we haven't been anywhere since March 10th. By the time our quarantines are over we will have been under mandated quarantine for about 30 days. We are glad to be on this other side of Covid-19. It struck me a little while ago that one of the reasons why Patrick and I both laughed and cried during that first phone call with the CDC, was because everything we had heard about the Coronavirus said it would be a death sentence for Patrick. We assumed he would die. I remember feeling so hopeless in those first few days, wondering if I was going to be downstairs taking care of the kids while Patrick sat alone in the bedroom upstairs, slowly wasting away, unable to breathe. It was terrifying. If not for the deluge of phone calls, messages, and people reaching out to us during that time I may have lost my mind. That silly headline in the newspaper that I still laugh about, was completely true. Patrick did feel like he was dying. I can't imagine how HE thought - laying in that room with his wife and youngest children downstairs. How many hours he must have thought about his older kids and grandchildren, his brothers and sisters and their families, and his mom who he loves with all his heart. Isolation must have been so lonely, and it was heartbreaking not being able to spend time with him. I am so glad it's over. I'm glad we pulled through - that someone with heart failure as bad as Patrick's has been through a battle with Covid-19 and lived to talk about it. We are so blessed. The outcome could have been very, very different. With life back to "normal" (I use that term loosely), we are moving onto worrying about job, finances, school, unnecessary shopping trips, and how to get our family back on track. We are in the same boat as millions of other Americans, feeling as though everything about life as we knew it is now completely derailed. We have two businesses, and we might lose both. Patrick can't work incredibly long hours, and my status as a stay at home mom might have to change soon. But again, we are now looking for a new normal. There are, of course, things that won't change - things I hold onto like security blankets. I have an amazing husband who annoys the crap out of me on purpose, but who buys me a latte every time he leaves the house, who does the dishes, who takes turns with me getting up in the morning with the kids so I can sleep in. I have four awesome kids, and every one of them brings a different light into our lives and we treasure them for the beautiful souls they are, and the people they are growing up to be. (And Samuel is awesome - who knew having a baby boy could be so much darn fun?) Our friends and family have been foundation stones, sharing our burden when we couldn't bear it alone, and showing us a measure of love we never thought possible prior to this virus. And everyone who reached out to us after I posted our story on Facebook, and after the newspaper article was posted - you guys helped buoy us when when we questioned whether going public was the right thing to do; when we thought the burden of being sick and the added burden of exposing our story to the world, would sink us. You guys are amazing. Your questions helped turn our focus from "Woe Is Me" to "How Can We Help?" We're still fighting, though now its a different fight; a different enemy. We don't know if the coronavirus can come back into our home, but we are living as though it can. We don't know if we have immunity to the virus, but we are living as though we don't. And we're waiting right along with all of you - waiting to see what sort of world will emerge from this scourge of Covid-19. Stay home when possible. Isolate. I'm still a firm believer in flattening the curve, and we will continue to do our part as a family to protect those we love, and thereby people who are loved by those we know. The affects of our actions - EVERYONE'S actions - are more far-reaching than we could ever imagine. Much love to you all! - Haley

Covid-19 Update

I told you guys we had the virus, so now would probably be a good time to update you on how we’re doing here at home. First, I can say the kids are fine. The symptoms they had were mild compared to what Patrick and I are dealing with. One child had a mild fever, body aches, and sore eyes, but she was the worst. However, due to the nature of these symptoms coming and going, especially in the early days, I was concerned when our 1-year-old sneezed this morning and I had to wipe his nose. I guess this is life now! This morning Patrick and I both woke up with a tightness in our chests. It was a struggle to yawn, to inhale deep enough to blow my nose, and to inhale deep enough to have a productive cough. My oxygen is fine and so is his, but that doesn’t mean we’re not watching them both like a hawk. Other symptoms I am having today include aches in my joints (I slept really rough last night, unable to get comfortable), full body weakness, and now a headache and more nausea. I felt better earlier after taking a nap. That’s it. There isn’t much to say. Every day is managing symptoms we’ve had and waiting to see what new symptoms pop up. The tightness in my chest makes me feel like I have run a race, even while sitting and doing nothing. But the weakness effects everything I do, and Patrick has it, too. We are calling on our 12-year-old to carry the baby up and down the stairs because we can’t trust our bodies to stay upright while carrying his weight. Patrick thinks as of this evening he has turned a corner. He says he feels he is at 90%, but this is the king of optimism talking. I'll ask him again in the morning! We want to thank everyone who has been checking on us, everyone who has brought us food and groceries, and for the far-reaching network of prayers you guys have enlisted on our behalf. Your positivity has been like soothing tea to our souls. We will keep everyone updated! Maybe I'll even be able to convince Patrick to write a post...

Covid-19, Part 2

The comments on local news stories about the Coronavirus often read something like this: “Does anyone actually know anyone who has the Coronavirus?” Our answer is yes, you do. Patrick was tested on March 14th and received a call saying he was the first positive Coronavirus test result in Fairbanks. I was tested March 19th and received my call yesterday. I am also positive. I asked Patrick if he minded whether I write about it on here, and he said he didn’t mind. I’m not exactly sure how he feels about this, but the further into this illness we progress and the more I hear about the positive test results adding up, the more I feel like we are in a position to help others. Maybe hearing that someone you know does have it, will give you some comfort. Maybe also hearing that someone you know has it will convince you to isolate. It’s the right thing to do. Patrick had his appointment in Seattle on March 6th. He flew into Sea-Tac at 2:30am the morning of the 6th, and waited until later in the day to ride the rail directly to the University Of Washington Medical Center. He had his appointment for the ablation procedure intake and heart transplant evaluation, rode the rail back to the airport, and left Seattle at 11:20pm that same night. He was in Seattle for less than 24 hours. I told him to sanitize his hands, wash his hands, and do whatever he could to avoid touching surfaces. It never occurred to us that he would actually pick up Covid-19 somewhere. He was never told to quarantine when he got home. I wish someone had said something. We had a birthday party the following day here at the house, and on Monday Patrick went back to work. He worked until Saturday, although on Friday, his birthday, he developed a mild fever. By Saturday night he wasn’t feeling top notch, but he was well enough to sit at the table and share bites of a homemade burger with our 1-year-old. Two hours later I was driving him to the emergency room. It hit him that fast. Backing up a bit, there were a solid two weeks prior to this where I began to panic. There were so many people saying it was just a flu, and that the actual flu killed more people than Covid-19. People were saying wash your hands, use sanitizer when you couldn’t wash, and cover your nose and mouth when you sneezed or coughed. But there were also people saying the disease hits the elderly and the compromised. That people with underlying conditions are at risk of dying. If we were a family of completely healthy individuals I might not have worried so much. We’re not. I told Patrick he was only allowed to die of heart failure - not some random virus. We laughed, because we were both thinking the same thing. I have told a few people that I imagined a headline for when Patrick’s test results came back - “Fairbanks Man’s Coronavirus Test Comes Back Positive. Family In Quarantine. Patient Says He Is Living The Dream.” It was a joke, and we spent the weekend waiting for the call to come back with a negative test result so I could go grocery shopping. During this time we sat together, had meals together, played and talked with the kids, and slept together. If Samuel woke up in the middle of the night we brought him into bed with us. On Monday the 16th Patrick wasn’t feeling well. I had his phone downstairs while he sat on the couch upstairs watching TV. A number came in that I didn’t recognize, and when I answered it the woman identified herself as working with the CDC, and could she please speak with Patrick Holland? I said of course, that I just needed to go give him his phone. A man interjected, “Actually, ma’am? Ma’am, when you give him the phone please stay six feet from him.” I started to cry. I knew what that meant. And all I could think about was Fragile. Vulnerable. Underlying Conditions. Immuno-compromised. Heart Failure. I tossed Patrick the phone, and while he spoke with the man and woman as they told him of his positive test result, we laughed and cried. It would be JUST LIKE PATRICK, the attention hog, to be the first positive Fairbanks test result, we thought. Always drawing attention to himself, of course he was the first one. The brat. But it was also sobering. He was told to go into a bedroom and not come out. I pushed the coffee table up against the couch where he had been sitting to remind myself not to touch anything in that area. Viruses die after so long on surfaces, and our dog is sensitive to disinfecting sprays, so the only choice was to quarantine that section of couch until I was comfortable that the virus was dead. Patrick took over our youngest daughter’s room. He also took over the bathroom that was just outside her door. Those were his places. Eventually we made the concession to give him the living room upstairs and the kids and I would remain downstairs, although he was allowed only one couch and one table to use. He had to wear a mask, but that way he could sit up, watch TV, and still feel like a human. Throughout his isolation I took care of the kids. I brought him his meals, cooked for the family, took care of the dog and chores and everything else. When presented with a challenge like this, one does what one must. And I did it all. Unbeknownst to all of us, I also had the virus. I was washing my hands, sanitizing surfaces, and not sharing with any of the kids. But late on the 16th I started joking about how the hard kitchen chairs were hurting my back. I have always had bad posture, and staying downstairs for hours at a time with nothing to do, while sitting on our wood chairs, felt like torture. By the 17th my whole back and shoulders hurt. It wasn’t until late on the 18th when I realized those were body aches, not posture pains. I was tested on the 19th at the drive thru testing site, and received my call on the 20th. At that point there was no point in Patrick being in isolation anymore. I had the coronavirus, the kids were undoubtedly all exposed and had cycled through several symptoms including the sore eyes, low fevers, and congestion. And there was no way I could also take over a room and let the kids fend for themselves. So here we are, on the 22nd, nine days after this whole mess started with Patrick’s illness and seven days into our quarantine. We have been instructed to quarantine until everyone is symptom free for at least 72 hours. We have friends and family bringing us groceries, offers to pick up any medicines or supplies we need, and the internet to keep in touch with everyone. Patrick has been through the worst of it, but he is not out of the woods yet. There have been days where I reported to friends that he was doing better, only for hours later to report he took a downturn. Another day I said I felt he was over the hump, only for his condition to deteriorate again. Let me be clear - he has not turned a corner yet. This is still incredibly dangerous for him. He is using a nebulizer at night, and I worry that at any moment the virus symptoms could settle into his lungs and become pneumonia. But we’re hanging in there. The irony that Patrick is in the vulnerable class of folks most susceptible to this virus, and that he is the one who brought it back with him to Fairbanks, is not lost on us. Those “travel-related” cases? He was the first. And yes, there is guilt there. I can’t speak for him, but I wish I had told him to quarantine, just in case. I wish the professional medical community he visited while in Washington had told him to quarantine when he got home. But the fact of the matter is, the information we have about this disease evolves every day. New information is available every day and now, almost two and a half weeks after Patrick’s Washington appointment, travel restrictions are a given. There are so many “if only’s” that we could dwell on. We are trying to focus on the positive. We will no longer be waiting for the virus to hit us. It has been our roommate for weeks. We’ve lived with it, and now are just waiting for it to pass. This puts us in the position to help - to be supportive, to answer questions, to be there for those of you who have not experienced it yet. Yesterday I came to the realization that when all of this is over - when our quarantine is done and we are allowed out of the house again - it will be like we have been living in a bomb shelter. The world will be different. The economy will be different. Social structures will be different. This time in humanity’s history is unprecedented. But what won’t be different is our ability to find humor in the tragedy; our capacity to love one another; and the fact that we weathered yet another one of these “The World Is Ending” events. Come on, people. This is the Y2-Corona 🤣 We can do this.