Patrick leaves Wednesday for a biopsy in Seattle but I had some thoughts that I wanted to get out of my head.
A couple mornings ago Patrick was loving on our four-year-old and he picked Samuel up. Samuel does not shy away from Patrick’s scars. He is a very curious boy and understands, “These are where the doctors cut open Daddy’s chest and put in his new heart.”
But it has felt strange from Day 1 saying, “New heart.” I suggested, “Maybe we should tell him about Andrew?”
So we sat down with Samuel and asked him rhetorically, knowing he wouldn’t know the answer, where Daddy’s new heart came from. We told him a young man was dying and his family chose to give his heart to Daddy.
Samuel’s response was, “Awww.” He knew that was sad. But we explained that’s why we pray for Andrew and his family - that their multilayered sacrifice has given us blessing upon blessing, and that we are determined not to see it wasted.
We keep Andrew close to us - Patrick, most of all. He now carries this young man’s DNA inside his body. With the help of a skilled surgeon and modern medicine, Patrick’s tissues are interwoven with Andrew’s. I look down at my hands and weave my fingers together - left is Patrick; right is Andrew - and I feel how natural they fit together. I envision on a microscopic level the same happening within Patrick’s body, although seamless. They are now one.
Patrick has come back in many ways a changed person. I tell a lot of people that he has gone through a complete physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation. I often wonder how much of that is Andrew?
Was Andrew not a fan of chocolate? Because Patrick woke up from the surgery with the habitual urge to pester nurses for chocolate before finding he no longer had a taste for it.
Was Andrew neat and organized? Because Patrick wants to hand mop the kitchen floor. Yes, that’s right - on his knees, spray cleaner and paper towels in hand.
Did Andrew like to cook? Patrick came back from Seattle with a new hobby.
And yes, Patrick is still very much there. He still interrupts my sentences because my mind runs on a slower plane than his and he lacks patience. (I don’t know how many times I have said, “You’re my husband and it’s your job to pretend to be interested in what I am saying!”)
He still has goals that are quintessentially Patrick - painting the bathrooms and the kitchen (again), making sure the yard looks nice, organizing the garage, and packing our schedule with activities so we are an active family.
But he is different. And in many ways, so am I. We have Andrew to thank for that. He likely had no part in donating his organs other than a conversation at one point with a family member, or answering Yes to the question at the DMV, Do you want to be an organ donor?
It meant the world to us.
We’re facing writing a letter to his family introducing us, and giving them an idea of who Patrick is. I want them to know Andrew’s heart has given Patrick a second chance at life - a life that he was already determined not to waste when he had his old, damaged, and diseased heart. I want them to know Patrick wants to help “the least of these” - mainly the elderly, and especially those heading towards the end of life who have dementia and for whom dignity and proper care isn’t guaranteed.
I want them to know he has So. Many. Family members. Older kids and his grandchildren, the younger kids we have together, brothers and sisters, his mom, nieces and nephews. He has been Pat The Brat since he was a toddler, and he is STILL Pat The Brat to all those who know and love him.
And I want them to know he is a good, good man. That he has lived enough experiences for several lifetimes, and has a drive to share those experiences as testimonies and to use them in any way that might be deemed useful.
I want them to know how thankful I am, and how deeply, profoundly they and Andrew are loved.
Please pray for us, and keep us in your thoughts, as we bare our souls and write a letter that we hope will change the course of our lives.
To know Andrew and his family wouldn't complete the blessing of the heart transplant, but it would answer one of our prayers.