When Patrick and I first started dating we made a lot of plans. He was a bit older than me but as many of you know, his youthful personality drives away any perception of age. We had so much fun and felt like we had the world at our fingertips. We were overjoyed to find out we were pregnant with our oldest. Life couldn't get any better. The dreams we had included vacations as a family, buying a home, homeschooling our kids, exploring Alaska, and spending decades together while we watched our family grow and blossom until we were both old and gray (although Patrick was already gray when I met him *snicker*) When I was just a few months pregnant and we hadn't even been together for a year, Patrick fell sick with a horrible flu and refused to go to the doctor. At that point he hadn't told me that ten years prior he had had a heart attack, and he didn't tell me that for ten years he had eschewed the medication suggestions of doctors. When he collapsed in our hallway unconscious and I was unable to rouse him for several seconds I managed to convince him to go to the doctor. After a several misdiagnoses that included gall bladder disease and pancreatitis, and an illness that wasn't getting any better with treatment, an emergency room doctor finally ordered a chest x-ray that should have been done at the very beginning, and diagnosed Patrick with congestive heart failure, with a heart twice the size of a healthy adult. Our dreams all but faded that day as we met with the doctor. You often hear, "Our world was turned upside down." Ours certainly was, especially when the doctor began talking about how our focus now was to be on quality of life. What began after that moment became our journey to Our New Normal. Over the years we have reached many New Normals, most recently being the decreased heart function and our quest to get Patrick on the heart transplant list. But through it all we have found joy in living the life we have created together. It took us a while to get the house (we purchased one this year), and when our oldest was born with a disability we found the courage to put her in public school and watched her thrive in the new environment. Other dreams fell by the wayside, delayed but not forgotten. So while our story has not been finished and we are still very much in the revision stage, we find joys to add in and celebrate every day, blessings written in the margins to be thankful for, and laughter to pepper the way with happiness.
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