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Haley Holland

On The List!


Yesterday morning Patrick finally got what we have been waiting for all year - a number on the transplant list.


Yes, he is ON THE LIST!


The patients on the list have priority numbers from 1 to 6, 1 being the highest priority. Patrick is a 6 and has been advised to stay in Alaska unless he has a serious heart event. In the event he needs to go to Seattle immediately, he has a prepaid one-way ticket to Seattle ready to cash in.


We didn’t want him to stay here as a 6, both of us figuring a donor heart should be given as little time as possible outside a human body. But under the advice of his heart failure specialist and with the reassurance that as a 6 Patrick will be given an 8-hour window to get to Seattle, it is what it is.


Does this mean Patrick will have to wait years to get a heart? No. The last patient they had from Alaska who was a 6 actually got their heart in two months.


The process of determining which heart goes to which patient is complex and I don’t know all the details. But other than his current heart, Patrick’s body checks every box on their list of qualifications for a perfect candidate. And if a “perfect” heart comes around that they deem is a match for Patrick, they will call him.


Imagine all of the determining factors that go into that process - blood type; gender and age of the donor; the direct medical needs of the possible recipients; location of the recipient - and so many more that the transplant team has to take into account. I can’t wrap my mind around it.


So Patrick might be called in a week, or a month, or several months. He has been told it's likely the heart will come available within a year. But if his health deteriorates further he will be moved up the list, and will use that one-way ticket to move to the University of Washington transplant house.


I am both hopeful and terrified. I suppose it will take some time to come to terms with this new development.


And in the meantime life goes on. Yesterday we had a doctor's appointment and errands. Today is Art Club and arguing with the 11-year-old about grades. Every day I drive the homeschooled 15-year-old to choir class at the high school. We have a backlog of custom orders for both the knife store and the woodshop. Patrick sits at the shop, making small talk with customers.


On the outside I believe it appears we have our sh*t together. We take one step at a time. One day at a time. Insert other idioms here - we roll with the punches; we go with the flow; we see where the wind takes us.


But on the inside we’re as messy as the next family. Our deck furniture never made it to the shed for the winter. The bird feeder is empty. We never got around this summer to reorganizing our garage into more than a knife mess, a wood mess, and a path in between the two messes to the front door.


We don’t often do so badly at this balancing act we call life. But I like to believe this last year we prioritized what's important.


We supported our church family, and flourished under their love and prayers.


We focused on what each child needed and planned our family life around those requirements.


We loved on our customers and happily started our 12th year in business in the Co-Op Plaza.


We put our marriage at the top of our priorities.


Patrick and I are coming up on our 17th wedding anniversary. We don’t mess around with “In sickness and in health.” I said those vows as a 21-year-old and still mean them with every ounce of my being today. There is no one else on this earth with whom I would rather do life. He is my priority.


Our next update will either be that Patrick got the call that a heart is available, or that his health has declined. Or perhaps it won’t be as exciting as those. Either way, thank you for reading and keeping up with his journey!




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